Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
