when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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