haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
