No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
