my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize