I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
