My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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