using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize