i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My pussy is not your playground.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at about main and main street
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
