ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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