Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Semen is not good for contacts.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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