I just cut my nipple shaving
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
