Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
