I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
