so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
