so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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