I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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