I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i now understand why vodka
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
