Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was born a porn star she said
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize