just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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