Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
