the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
