My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
