those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
