You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
