Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
