Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
