i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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