Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
