I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize