that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
