He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
