Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
