there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
