How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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