you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
