also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
