It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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