I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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