Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
