I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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