I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
