Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
