I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
