I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
