omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
