Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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