I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
