So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
