So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
