I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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