i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
