I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
