so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
