Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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