Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no you cant smoke seaweed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
