My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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