The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
