I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had to cum in my sink.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
