The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
